sam smiles

Last week, after a surgery and several scans, I was re-diagnosed with Lymphoma, cancer of the lymph system. It's the same hellaciously aggressive version I had over a year ago - the thing that inspired Crashlands and pushed us to where we are today.

I spent last weekend in a hospital bed. I spent that time preparing promotional assets for Flop Rocket's appearance on the App Store, between bouts of brain fuzz and nausea caused by a 3-day chemotherapy infusion. Right now, I'm pushing back on an intense pain that's radiating from my spine and hips each time my heart beats. Good times.

To say it's been an odd week would be an understatement. Treatment is going to be long, complicated, and really, really rough.

But it's going to work.


My treatment will last approximately 6 months. I've already completed 1 of the 3 rounds of chemotherapy I'll be receiving. My next treatments are March 11th and April 4th - each of which places me in the hospital for 3 days.

Following these intensive treatments I will have what's called an autologous stem-cell transplant. Beginning around May 11th, I'll be in the hospital for 3 weeks, during which time I'll receive a chemo so potent it will utterly destroy my bone marrow (and, theoretically, all the cancer ever made inside my body). I'll then receive my own bone marrow back, and be left to recover for two months.

Finally, I'll undergo a donor transplant. Some lovely soul, somewhere in the world, will be gifting me their immune system. I'll be plopped in the hospital for another three weeks.

After all of that I'll be done - the same human on the outside, but unmistakenly different on the inside.


You can rest assured that I'll be cranking out Crashlands art and continuing to work during treatment. Making Crashlands during chemo kept me happy, sane, and full of meaningful activity last time. And it will do so again.

I had hoped that a full 1/3rd of the team would only get cancer ONCE during Crashlands development. But that ship has CERTAINLY SAILED NOW.

Going forward, we as a 3 brother indie studio will need your support, and the powers of whatever gods you bring to the table. If you want to help, or DO SOMETHING, then all I ask is for something quite simple - engage with us.

Hang out on the forums, whip up some fan art or fan fiction, and maybe send us some sassy tweets (@bscotchshenani). If you're feeling like a complete bad-ass go sign-up for the bone marrow registry. All of it lets us feel like we're more connected, and makes me feel like I've got an army at my back.

And that's what I need right now. I need a goddamn army.

P.S. I'll likely be wearing a mask around GDC. It's not to protect you, but me, though you may still need protection when I high-five you with the FORCE OF A SLEDGEHAMMER.