HEY, GANG! As you may or may not know, Crashlands has a pipin' hot patch of tasty sauce coming down the internet tubes, and we're calling it the Quality of Life Patch. WHY? Shut up and read this post to find out! And quit interrupting. I'M BLOGGIN' HERE!

crashlands quality of life patch

Planned launch date: April 14th. If you want to get in on the patch early, there's still room in the beta testing channels! More information available here.

Updated World Map

Hey, you know how the game's map really sucks a lot, and everyone hates it, and it's the worst thing ever created? NOT ANYMORE! We've totally overhauled the thing from the ground up. Now you can smoothly pan around and zoom in and out, and you can toggle items on the map. You can even now see NPC locations on the map, along with indicators of whether or not they have quests for you!

| FEEL THE PAN. FEEL THE ZOOM. FEEL THE NPC. Actually don't do that. Not without consent. |

New Items

You know how Crashlands has over 900 items? Now it has OVER over 900 items! That's right... Sam took a break from sippin' chocolate milk and whipped up a whole new batch of sweet thangs for you all to craft and play with. Here are just a few of them!

**Pot Slapper ** Ever get tired of individually slapping all your potted plants? Now, you don't have to! Build a pot slapper and place it in the center of a group of potted plants. Then, just slap the Pot Slapper, and it'll slap the pots on your behalf! That's an 87.5% reduction in pot slapping!

| Ignore the weird green sprinkles all over everything. That's  just gif stuff. |

**Pot Slapper Beamer **

Now, you're sitting there and you're thinking, "BUT SETH. Now I gotta slap these pot slappers? I mean sure, it cuts down my pot slapping by 87.5%, but I'm a super busy, important person. I can't be going around slapping pot slappers all day. WHO HAS THE TIME?" Hey, buddy. I hear ya. I hear ya loud and clear. That's why we created the Pot Slapper Beamer! When you slap the Pot Slapper Beamer, the beamer will beam all visible Pot Slappers, triggering them to slap your pots! That's a 99% reduction in pot slapping!

Gogos & Gomos

Ever get tired of physically using your legs to go places? DON'T WE ALL! But now you can put that behind you. Just build a set of Gogos or Gomos, and place them on the floor of your base, or wherever else you feel like being a completely lazy slob! Then, simply step onto the gogo or gomo, and it'll push you along at an accelerated rate. It's like one of those moving sidewalks you see in airports, only better because you're playing a video game instead of being on a moving sidewalk in an airport.

New Floors

Want to make a shag carpet out of Wat fur? How about a Satgat Exoskeleton floor? NOW YOU CAN! We've got a whole new packet bundle cornucopia of floors for you to choose from. Go nuts!


Other Tidbits of Tweaks

Colorblind Mode

HEY! Have you had your Crashlands experience severely diminished because your eyeballs aren't cooperating? We've got your back! This patch adds colorblind modes for Protanopia, Deuteranopia, and Tritanopia. For the most part, these modes just change the colors of combat-related stuff like the telegraphs on the ground. Still, if you have colorblindness and end up using one of these modes, please give us feedback on how it's working out, and where we missed some spots. We want to improve it!

Rescalable UI

Because we're dumb, we added the ability to change the resolution of the game without adding the ability to change the scale of the UI. This has led to many mobile users saying things like, "I CANNOT SEE ANYTHING. I AM DYING. I AM LITERALLY DYING."

Not anymore! We've added some settings for UI rescaling, so even if you shrink everything down to being super-crisp and sharp, you can bump the scale of the UI back up to make it visible again!

Also, we added a new resolution option: UBERMAX HD. It's 1920x1080, but it does mean that there'll be a LOT of stuff on screen. So use with caution on weaker devices.

Movable Hotbar

We got a lot of requests from players who wanted to be able to move their hotbar to the right or left side of their screen, instead of the middle. BOOM! Done. Don't have too much fun with this one!

Recipe Tracker Tooltips

Are you tracking a recipe that includes an item you don't remember anything about? No problem! Now you can click items in your recipe tracker, and the game will show you the name of the item and its description. Thanks, tracker!

Updated Settings Page

We've expanded and broken apart some of the game's settings to give players more control over their graphical options. And we added a few new settings, like right-click only combat for PC!

And to top it off, we added a settings menu inside the pause menu in-game, so you can tweak all kinds of stuff from there. And we made the main menu settings page 38% less hideous!

Death Waypoints

We've also realized that sometimes players get a little bit turned around when they die, and they occasionally miss picking up their old stuff. To fix this, we've added a simple feature that will auto-set your waypoint to your death coordinates when you resurrect, provided you haven't already set a waypoint somewhere else on the map. It's the little things, you know?


Honestly, there are 14 jillion things in this patch, including bug fixes, balance updates, and general tweaks and improvements. If you want to see more, feel free to dig through the patch notes over at https://bit.ly/crashlandsPatchnotes. If not, GO AWAY!

But also, go away anyways, because this post is over.